Classification Intros

Number 1


"There are only so many types of people that can handle this kind of work." Algier said in his thick indistinguishable accent. There was a construction area in the back of Maggiano's Little Italy in Philadelphia which was no more than a hollowed out section of the block sized building. We would often sit there and smoke during down time, and we would gab about this or that. Today the topic was why anyone would subject themselves to the life of a restaurant worker. "The first," he said, "Is people in transition. They are in college or moving, maybe waiting for something else after they get their degree. Somebody just wanting simple circumstances in between two sets of complicated ones. Divorce, jail, stuff like that. They don't know where they're going to land so they take a job they don't have to stick with." He dragged on his long cigarette and exhaled slowly. The love he treated the nicotine delivery device with made his next statement a double entendre. "The second is druggies. They always need quick cash. You can work a day on the floor after a hard night of partying, or while your high. The third is single moms. They don't have many other choices and most of them can't do a regular workschedule, they have noone to watch their kids." He paused for a long moment and the busser next to me got up and went back into the building. "Then there's you and me. We wouldn't want to do anything else. We are the dyed in the wool professional who lives at the table." He stabbed out his cigarette and patted me on the shoulder as he went back inside the kitchen. I have considered this moment many times since and have yet to prove him wrong.

Number 2

I have almost ten years of experience in the service industry, specifically food service, and I have discovered that there are a limited number of people who can stomach it. In fact there can be discerned four seperate sub-species of Camerera Normalis or the garden variety server. The first is my favorite, I.E. me. We are the ones who get up at noon every day and work until two in the morning because we would have no other livelihood. We are the millions who serve you your breakfast, lunch and dinner every day and we truly love doing it. We are bred for it and many consider us sick and deranged. Then there are the 'heads.' These hapless guys and gals caught an addiction right between the eyes and noone but the night world of waiters and waitresses will take them. They come to work on pills or blow, maybe worse. Sometimes they are drunk before shift. Sometimes they will be before the shift is over. They have bloodshot eyes, white upper lips, and hurting souls. Species 3: the moms with little ones waiting on them to come home and tuck them in. They work in restaurants to have cash when they need it and so that if their little ones need them, they can be there. The broadest category and largest sub-species is the transitionaries. They come from all countries and all walks of life. They only want to work in the dining room to bridge the gap between two states of being. Like college and the real world or jail and the harsh reality of living alone after being inside. In many cases between two states of citizenship. They are just passing through and most of them don't care who knows it. Although seemingly diverse one would be surprised at how predictable the speciation in any given population of servers really is.